His Shirts

There are certain things that make someone feel better when they either aren't feeling well, are stressed out, or just need something to calm them down.

Everyone has something. I have a few things but one of the biggest ones for me is to wear something that Master use to wear that He has since given me. See, every now and then Master will give me one of His shirts. They are really long on me but they are so comfortable. And honestly they make me feel better.

They don't really smell like Him anymore since the ones I do have He hasn't worn in years, but I know they  were His. And as a result they comfort me.

Today and last night have been stressful due to outside circumstances. I feel worn out, beat down and tired. And it's only 9pm. Seriously.. just worn the fuck out. It's not my body either. It's just my mind. I feel mentally drained.

Last night I wore one of the Alice Cooper shirts Master gave me. Tonight I am wearing one of the jean button down shirts He gave me. The jean one, I have to say, is my favorite. I honestly don't know why. But tonight I need it.

It's long, it's a little thicker so I'm more aware of it (which makes a difference believe it or not) and it just helps. I don't know how else to explain it.

We had been sitting outside for a little while tonight with our neighbors. I was still wearing the clothes I wore to work today. We came back inside about 15 minutes ago. As soon as Master shut the blinds I took my clothes off and put the jean shirt on. I feel better. I feel safer. I just simply feel more at ease.

I really do feel like I could just lay down and go to sleep right now. My body isn't tired but my mind wants to shut off. As I said it's only 9pm. I have off work tomorrow and I have off Monday. So I get a four day weekend. I'm really glad I don't have to work tomorrow. Not just because it means I don't have to go to work but because I need the down time to pull my mind back together and charge it back up, hopefully, by Tuesday.

I'm grateful that Master gives me some of His shirts and I'm also grateful that He likes seeing me in them. Sometimes I just need to wear one in order to feel better.

Limits

Another thread based post.

This thread had to do with what other people have as "off limits" or "hard limits" in their dynamic based relationship.

It had me thinking to about nine years ago when Master and I were first dipping our toes in the kinky world beyond just rough sex. We had sat down and discussed a lot of things including things that were off limits, hard limits.. whatever you want to call them. I also remember we actually had a contract that we both signed. Actually there were a few of them.

So I used to have a lot more say than I do now. But as I said, we were just getting our feet wet and trying to decide how far into the deep end we really wanted to go with all of it.

As the years passed we stopped paying attention to the contracts. We didn't bother writing more up. We were in a constant state of flux. Things would change, things would get more intense, new rules would be enforced, others would go away. It just was way too much to try and write down and on top of it we didn't really see the need for it anymore. Our communication is open and honest so why bother with a contract anymore? We both know what's up and what's going on. So fuck it.

Also, the list of hard limits/no limits got a hell of a lot smaller. We both became more open to new ideas and willing to try more of them out as we became more and more comfortable with our roles. We wanted to push the envelope a little bit. If we tried something and we ended up not liking it, oh well... at least now we know. If we tried something and we liked it.. awesome! We were glad we at least tried.

And then the time came where there were no limits on my part really. It all became His limits and therefore my limits.

And they are rather basic.

• Cheating
• No scat play.
• Nothing that would put either one of us in the hospital or jail.
• Nothing at all to do with children because that is just sick and twisted and disgusts both of us.
• Nothing at all to do with animals because that is just sick and twisted and disgusts both of us. 

That pretty much sums it all up right there. Like I said, they are basic. I know that some slaves don't have that whole cheating thing on their limits list and as I said they aren't really up to me anymore, it's all Him. But that is one thing that we both strongly agree on. And to be honest with you, if He didn't feel that was a limit I still would. That would be my one "Oh hell no!" 

Butt Slut

For the past week one or both of us haven't been feeling well. It's either been my shoulders, my neck, His back, His neck, one of us just not feeling well in general or both not feeling well at the same time. As a result, we haven't fucked in a week.

Well last night I was horny and so was He. He was playing a video game and when I went to take my shower I asked Him if He wanted me to dress up for Him. He said yes. So before I hopped in the shower I picked out some lingerie and put it in the bathroom.

I took a longer shower than usual just to loosen up my shoulders a little bit with the hot water. Once that was done I put on the lingerie I had picked out. It wasn't anything special. It was fishnet stockings that are crotchless and assless. I then tossed on a pair of heels. That was it. Nice and simply. I also put on a little bit of eye shadow. Why? I'm not sure. It was just once I had that on I looked at myself in the mirror and for whatever reason decided that it would be nice to put on a little bit of make-up for Master.

He was still playing His video game when I walked into the living room. As I'm walking down the hallway He is telling me about something that is going on in His game. When He looked up He stopped mid-sentence and said, "Hello there..." I giggled and stood in front of Him. He was very pleased.

A little while later we went to the bedroom. I took the heels off just to make things easier so we wouldn't have to worry about my heels digging into His leg or tearing the sheets or whatever.

He had me lay on my stomach and ate my ass for a little while. It does turn me on but it also relaxes my entire body. I'm not sure why and I don't know if anyone else experiences that, but that's what happens.

The way that He was positioned I was able to use my feet to play with His cock. Neither of us have a foot fetish but every now and then it's kinky and fun.

When He was done He opened one of the three anal toys that I recently purchased. I had asked Him to pick one out because He normally has me do it. So He picked up, put some lube on it and slowly inserted it into my ass. He moved it around a little bit to make sure that I wasn't uncomfortable. He asked me if I wanted Him to fuck me while I had the anal toy in. I of course said yes. This is all part of the training in my eyes.

He started off gently at first. He kissed the top of my head and I nuzzled the side of His face. It was more romantic and erotic and than our usual rough sex but I really enjoyed it. It's a rare treat that we both enjoy every now and then.

However I did reach a point where I asked Him to fuck me harder. He apparently had no problem with that because the minute I asked He started pounding my pussy. It was delicious.

Then I wanted to take it a step further since I had the anal toy in. I asked Him to "rape" me. We have a particular position that we refer to as the "rape" position. Basically I lay on my stomach, His feet and ankles hook under my legs and He pins my wrists to the bed with His hands. This time though He had me prop myself up long enough so He could tuck two pillows under my hips, forcing my ass in the air. It felt amazing. When I am in said position I am no longer allowed to cum. It's all about Him. That doesn't stop me from enjoying the hell out of it though.

After He came He slowly pulled the toy out. Just to be on the safe side, in case some of the lube had dripped down He washed up and so did I. There wasn't any "mess" or anything, we just err on the side of caution. I then cleaned off the toy. Master allowed me to stay up an extra 15 minutes afterward. I had a whole body buzz going and was wired. So He let me sit in the living room with Him for 15 minutes and then I had to go to bed since it was almost 1am already.

I went to sleep very happy. I was surprised that my ass didn't hurt this morning though. I know it was just an anal toy but every time He pushed forward with His hips the toy pushed in deeper as well. In other words while He fucked my pussy the toy fucked my ass.

He told me last night that He'll turn me into a butt slut eventually. I'm really enjoying the training so far. Hopefully it won't be long before we can try to move from the training to anal sex and not have me be too uncomfortable to continue.

Don't Cross That Line

I was reading a thread the other day with a slave asking what a Master/Mistress should do with a smart ass slave.

Um... well... I am a smart ass. There are no two ways about that. It's a fact.

There is a difference however between me being a smart ass with other people and me being a smart ass with Master. When I'm talking to or joking around with other people it's pretty much no holds barred I'm being a smart ass bitch so there! *sticks tongue out* It's normally in good fun though. Normally. There are times where it's a back handed compliment but I know damn well that's what it's coming across as.

With Master on the other hand... Yes I can be a smart ass. But it's on a different level. It's more a playful smart ass type thing, if that makes any damn sense.

I don't challenge Him. I am playful about it. He knows this and it's actually one of the qualities He likes about me. He likes that I have a sense of humor and we both like the fact that we can joke around with one another.

There is a line though. A big fat line drawn in the sand. Sometimes I stay the fuck away from it and know when to pull back. There are times where I will go right up to it and act like I'm about to put one foot across the line and run away laughing. In those situations that's when I'm being playful. When I go up to that line yet know when to back away from it, again playfully, He will either shake His head and laugh or He'll give me a warning.

Said warning is normally a look or a "That's enough Kitten."

Nine times out of ten I will stop when He says something like that or I see that look appear on His face. I have a brain for a reason after all.

But I'm not perfect and sometimes I tap dance on that line a little too much and I don't know when to stop. He'll give me the warning. I may acknowledge it at first but then go back to my tap dance routine a little while later.

This is normally about the time that He'll tell me to knock my shit off. Or He'll just simply grab my throat. Now, in my head I'm just being playful at the moment but when He grabs my throat I know good and god damn well that I have gone too far.

There have also been times where, for whatever reason, I just can't stop laughing. Even when His hand is around my throat and I can barely breathe I can't stop laughing. I don't know if it's a manic thing, I don't know if it's a nervous thing.. I have no fucking clue.

But when Master has had enough He has had enough. If I don't stop after all of the above has happened He will then proceed to squeeze my neck. There have been times where He really needed to get His point across and not only squeezed but applied pressure to the pressure points in my neck and shoulders. That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is a sure fire way of getting me to go docile so fast my own head spins.

Thankfully those occasions are few and far between.

But if a slave has to ask what a Master/Mistress should do with a smart ass slave, to me there is something wrong with that picture. Um, shouldn't they know how to handle You? Master knows how to yank my leash. And yes, I know we've been together for a long time but He's found out through trial and error and it really didn't take Him long to figure it out either.

He never stays mad at me about it though. Once I've settled down, regardless of how long it took, He knows that He has me in check basically. He also knows when it's actually due to a manic mode. He is a little more forgiving and more patient but will still put me in my place.

Putting Myself Last

I constantly put myself last on my priority list. I'm obviously not talking about my health. (Master would drag me kicking and screaming to a doctor if He thought otherwise.)

I'm talking about spending money basically.

When it comes to buying myself things I don't really need, or if I do need it I can't really convince myself to spend more than absolutely necessary. I'm frugal/cheap anyway, so that doesn't help things. *laughs*

The list of priorities, in my mind, goes as follows:

1. Bills and necessities (food, my medication, etc.)
2. Master
3. The animals
4. Me

Yes, I put myself lower on the list than our animals.

After all the bills and necessities are taken care of and no one actually needs anything I start to see if Master wants anything. Sometimes it's a video game, sometimes it's a book... you know something along those lines. Something He just wants but can do without.

After that comes the dog. In fact the other day we were at the pet store picking up treats for the pup and I passed that instant pet ID tag machiene. Our dog already has a dog tag with all of the information on it. It's blue in the shape of a bone. But, he has a black and white collar, a black and white harness and a black leash. He's a white and black dog, so I think it matches him rather well. We chose the blue dog tag because it was larger and the only non-girly colored one. He's a boy! He is not going to wear a girly looking dog tag!

So anyway, as we're passing this machiene I notice that they have a black dog ID tag in the shape of a bone. A black one! I wanted to get it for him so it would match the rest of his attire but Master said no. No new ID tag today for the pup. I pouted a little bit but obviously it didn't change Master's mind.  He told me that I can get the new black ID tag when the dog needs a new collar.

After all that and we still have some spending money I almost hardly ever look for anything I want. Not need... want. This doesn't include work wear or regular clothing. There is one thing that I have no hesitation on if we have enough spending money and that's getting ink, whether it be a new one or a touch up. I of course ask Master first and He has never once denied it if He knows we can afford it. Like I said, it's the one thing I have absolutely no problem with. It's on my skin and it's not going anywhere after all. Plus I'm obsessed with body modification along the lines of tattoos and piercings. So that helps.

But here is a really good example of my not wanting to spend a lot of money on myself. Within the next few months I am going to need new sneakers. No big deal right? It's clothing after all. The problem is that normally I'll just buy a regular pair of sneakers.

But then I found out that you can literally design your own Converse shoes. When I found that out I was really excited. Design my own shoe and they are high top Converse? Hell yes I want a pair! So I went onto the Converse website and starting playing with the design portion. I made some really kick ass high tops. I showed it to Master and He also thinks they are bad ass. Of course, silly me, was designing away before I looked at the price tag. $75. Now, that really isn't a lot of money for customized name brand shoes. It really, really isn't.

But ya see, when I buy sneakers I'm normally not willing to go over $30. And $30 is pushing it. Keep in mind that's only for my sneakers. Master prefers steel toe boots and of course those cost a bit more but that doesn't bother me in any way, shape or form.

But Master saw how much I liked my personalized sneakers. I was going to just tell myself, "Oh well, at least it was fun to design a shoe." Master could see that though cross through my mind and He squashed it before I could say it outloud.

"Do you like them?"

"Yes Master, I really do... but they.."

"Do you like them?"

"Yes.. but..."

"Then you're going to buy them."

"But Master.."

"I said, you are going to buy them."

That was the end of that conversation. I can't buy them right now as there isn't room in the budget for a $75 pair of sneakers. And as I said I don't really need them right away. But Master says that I will buy them and that's the end of it. Yes, He literally ordered me to spend $75 on sneakers.

Why? Because I never, ever spend that much money on myself on one item. Never. And sometimes it drives Him nuts. I seem to always explain that I don't really need the item I want and that hey.. I could buy something for Him instead! Or maybe another toy for the dog.. or.. Yeah, it pretty much goes like that. As I said it drives Him nuts sometimes. So when He knows I truly do love something that I found but is a little pricy in my eyes He doesn't take no for an answer.

What It Means To You

I was reading on the boards the other day and came across one that stated that her Master wouldn't marry her because then they could no longer be in the lifestyle, since marriage is an equal partnership and there for he would no longer have control over her.

Chuckling to myself just a little bit I responded, of course.

Master and I were in this power exchange dynamic extremely early on in our relationship. I would say a good six months in? It started off gradually but then it grew into what it is today. We had been together for four years by the time we got married.

Since when did anyone say that every marriage has to be an equal partnership? If that were the case none of the slaves I've read on blogs would be married or engaged for that matter. In times go by it was actually never an equal partnership. If you want to go old school about it the man was in charge and the wife was submissive to him.

Now, I won't say that we have that sort of marriage because we don't. I'm not submissive to Him only because I'm His wife. I was submissive to Him long before that ring went on my finger. I do not personally feel that our getting married lessened our dynamic in any way, shape, or form. If anything it strengthened it. It put a legal spin on things.

Another person had commented on the same thread that a slave and Master shouldn't get married because the slave then has access to their Master's assets. What does that have to do with anything? If you are submissive to your Husband would it matter if you had access? I have access to His and He has access to mine. Big deal. If anything to be marriage has made the legal side of things a hell of a lot easier. He has say over what happens to me if something were to go horribly wrong. On the flip side of that I also have that legal right but I would still be acting on what I know His wishes to be.

I was also able to take on His last name. I took His last name fully. I did not hyphenate it. Now, I know that if the unthinkable were to happen and we ended up getting a divorce I would go back to my maiden name. That was actually agreed upon before we said our vows. I would no longer be His and I would no longer be a part of that family, so why would I keep His last name? That makes no sense to me to begin with to be perfectly honest with you.

Marriage is what you make it. Not all marriages are the same just like not ever power exchange relationship is the same. There may be similarities, true. But there will always be something different, something unique.

Your relationship, regardless of the situation, is what you make it. It all depends on what you put into it, what your partner puts into it and where you take it together.

So to say that Master no longer owns me simply because I am also His wife is rubbish.

Living Dead Girl

You may be wondering why I didn't do a post last night. You may not be. I don't know, but I'm going to tell you why anyway.

While I was at work yesterday my neck and shoulders just got worse as the day was going on. The night prior to that I was in a lot of pain. I didn't want to move from the couch. I ended up going to bed early. Normally I ask to stay up a little or I wait until 11pm shows up on the clock and slowly make my way to the bedroom. But last night I just couldn't do it.

I woke up yesterday morning and I still was in quite a bit of pain but I had to go to work. I couldn't just call in. I couldn't afford to take the time off of work. But as the day progressed it just got to the point that I called Master and told Him I think it's a good idea if I went into an urgent care of emergency room so I could hopefully get a prescription that would help. He asked me if I wanted Him to go with. I told Him that it was okay for Him to stay home. There wasn't anything for Him to do for me and He absolutely hates hospitals. Thankfully I convinced the person in my carpool to leave work a half hour early. So I dropped him off, stopped at home really quick and then headed right back out. The urgent care was about to close so I just went to the ER. I got there at 5:30pm and I left at 9pm. Most of it was me sitting in the waiting room. I know that other people needed help more than I did but when I went in my pain level was about an eight. When they finally got me in a room my pain level was past 10.

I hate crying in front of people but around 15 minutes before I was brought into a room tears started to stream down my face. I was quiet and just kept wiping my eyes. The nurse that showed me to the room apologized that it had taken so long. I told her I understood. The minute I laid down on the hospital bed and the door was closed I couldn't keep it in anymore. The pain was over powering. I cried. I couldn't help it even though it hurt worse when I did. I was able to stop crying after a little while and just settled into a semi-comfortable position and watched a little TV until the doctor came into the room.

He already knew that I have fibromyalgia. He asked me where it was the worst and I told him it was in my neck and the tops of my shoulders but that by the time I was put in a room it was also between my shoulder blades.

He told me that he would get me my prescriptions as soon as possible and that they would discharge me as soon as they could so I could get the prescriptions filled and take them. He told me he could give me a shot right there and then but I would have to wait for a ride. Well, if I had done that I wouldn't have made it to the pharmacy in time to get them filled. So I just dealt with it, got to Walgreens, got the prescriptions filled, went home and immediately popped one of the muscle relaxers and one of the pain pills. It helped, a lot, once it finally kicked in.

I took some more today and it's taking the edge off. But sitting at a computer all day at work did not help the situation, but the pain was tolerable.

Again, once I got home I took some more medication. I'm so glad that tomorrow is Saturday.

Why the title? Well, this will sound stupid but being in the ER last night made me think of a time that was funny after the fact.

I was at a doctor's office for my fibromyalgia. This was quite some time ago. I was probably 17 at the time. It was really early in the morning. I had to get up at 3am to get there in time as the doctor was a good two hour drive from the house. So I got there and they did the normal blood pressure check and all that. While they did that they of course checked my heart beat. That seemed fine but apparently they thought my blood pressure was too low. So they checked my pulse. Don't ask me why. Apparently, they couldn't find a pulse on my wrist or my neck. They had three nurses check. Needless to say they were freaking out a bit. My heart was beating and I was alert and all that shit but they couldn't get a pulse. Fucked up right? Finally yet another nurse came in and she found it although it was weak. I was perfectly fine otherwise.

I found the entire situation hilarious. The nurses were kind of creeped out though.

Falling To Pieces

Today was pretty bad pain wise. It started off as a regular headache when I got up this morning. Then after a couple of hours sitting under florescent lighting, it slowly turned into a migraine. I was popping pain pills like tic tacs today.

But it wasn't only my head that was bothering me. My right shoulder was twitching on and off and just burned. I think this is in part due to the fact that I'm not use to this much driving. Normally when we go somewhere Master is the one driving. For the longest time the only time I really drove was to do errands without Master or to go visit my mother.

I've been driving the carpool for about a month now and I think my body just isn't use to it yet. Hopefully, over time, my body will learn to deal with it better.

Oh, and just to add to the fun of it all my right wrist ended up hurting like hell, even with my wrist brace on. So I tightened the brace and slowed down with the things I was doing at work. It feels better now but it's also been about four hours since I was on a computer typing. And since it's my blog post I can type a little slower than I usually would.

I was thinking to myself that if I didn't really love my ink I would have ripped off my right arm. Since it was that shoulder and that wrist it was like the pain was shooting into my elbow from both directions. At the time I thought it would be less painful to just take that arm off. But ya know, like I said I really love the ink on that arm... plus Master would not have been pleased.

I'm falling apart. I'm only 29 right now. I don't even want to think about how I'm going to feel when I'm 50.

When we sat outside tonight Master and I grabbed our chairs rather than using the ones over at our neighbors. They have plastic chairs. It's not that they are extremely uncomfortable but my shoulders just can't take it after a while. It's too rigid.

We have metal chairs with really plush cushions on them. It's a lot more comfortable and they are wider so I can change how I'm sitting if I need to. As a result I was able to be more comfortable for a longer period of time.

One of these days I know I'm going to have to go to a pain specialist again. I'm not looking forward to it to be honest. Yes, it'll give me some relief but there aren't a lot of pain killers I can take since I'm allergic to codeine. I would normally just get a prescription for IBU Profin 600 milligrams. At that rate I can just buy a big bottle over the counter and take three 200 milligram pills. But some muscle relaxers would be awesome.

I'm trying to push that off as long as possible. It's pain. I can deal with it. I've been dealing with this shit (minus my wrist) since I was 14.

Cold Feet

Today has been a rather blah day. It didn't start off so great. My alarm startled me awake and I started at the clock for a good 30 seconds thinking to myself why the hell I had set my alarm for a Sunday. Of course, I eventually realized that it was in fact Monday.

I'm really glad that I didn't just turn off the alarm and lay back down thinking it was only Sunday. The other person in my carpool would be texting me wondering where the hell I was and then me rushing around attempting to still get to work on time.

The rest of the day was just rather blah and bland feeling. As a result I felt about the same.

I was really glad to be home when I finally walked in the door. After dinner Master told me that BC had e-mailed Him today.

BC is Master's friend since high school. He is getting married in November. We do not plan on attending. Master and BC used to be really close but over the past four years they have been severely drifting apart and now BC only contacts us when He wants Master's advice. In fact before he proposed to his now fiance he met up with Master first to ask Him if it was a good idea.

And now he said that he needs to get together again tomorrow to talk to Master about something. This is the first time in about six months that he has contacted Master. The last time it was to tell Him that they had set a date. Prior to that it was about eight months since he last contacted Master. As I said, they are drifting apart.

But here it goes again. Master grudgingly agreed for him to come over tomorrow around 1pm.

He wasn't too happy about it but He is allowing it. I asked Master if maybe BC is getting cold feet.

I personally don't understand the whole getting cold feet thing. I didn't experience it. If you're not sure then you should have thought about that before you started planning. I can understand getting nervous, that kind of nervous excitement sorta thing. I experienced that as did Master.

In answer to my question He said He isn't sure if that is what BC wants to talk about. He said it wouldn't surprise Him.

I'm sure that Master will call me once BC has left, or He'll tell me about it when I get home. That is, if BC isn't still here. I don't think Master would like that very much. That would mean that BC would have been here four and a half hours by that point.

We'll just have to wait and see.

Bite Me

Master and I both have a biting fetish. He loves to sink His teeth into my flesh and I really get off on it when He does. It hurts, it burns and sometimes it's a little scary but holy fucking hell is it a turn on.

Master told me that He's always had a biting fetish but never had a chance to delve into it. I never even thought of it until He bit me for the first time. Oddly enough He asked if it would be okay for Him to do so before He chomped away.

This was years ago of course. Shortly into the relationship He brought it up and I was curious about it.

He bites my throat, the sides of my neck, my shoulders, my tits, my ass... but my favorite? My spine right at the back of my neck. Yes, you read that correctly. He doesn't do it a lot, but when He does... *happy sigh* I'm not sure if one of the reasons I like it so much is because it's not all that frequent. You know, like it's a special treat or something along those lines.

Last night Master and I retired to the bedroom for a little while. He was kind enough to work on my lower back for a little bit. Afterward He was laying on His side and rolled me off my stomach onto my side so that my back was against His chest. He just held me for a little while. He had His arm around my chest in such a way that I could hug His arm and cuddle. It was so comfortable and He even made a comment about how we used to sleep like that when He would spend the night at my old apartment. It was so sweet and I smiled in the dark.

Then He started nipping my shoulder a little bit. It started off gently at first. He would graze His teeth across my skin and catch a thin piece of my skin in between His teeth and let go. He started biting harder and I moved to give Him more access to my neck and shoulder. He chewed on the side of my neck and down my shoulder. Eventually He started biting right along my shoulder blade. I pushed my hips back so that my ass was nestled right against His growing cock.

As He continued biting me I started leaning my upper torso forward. My ass was still against His now throbbing cock and continued to bite and chew on my skin. I was extremely docile and to try and show that in a different way than usual I gathered up all of my hair in my free hand and lifted it all off the back of my neck, exposing it. I could hear Him moan deep in His chest when I did this.

He started off gently again. Every time His teeth grazed my spine it sent electric shivers through my entire body. He continued to do this until finally He chomped down. I couldn't help but moan. It felt absolutely delicious. Yes, it hurt but it was so erotic to me.

Exposing your throat or the back of your neck like that, to me, is one of the ultimate displays of submission. He could easily do a lot of damage and we both know it and that's why it turns us on so damn much. He is careful, even when He is biting down hard, don't get me wrong but just knowing it gets me off mentally.

When He had His fill of biting, for the time being, He ate me out, had me suck His cock and then fucked me to the point of my pussy feeling bruised.

Afterward we sat in the living room for a little while in our after sex glow. I eventually started to shut down and so went to bed at about 3am. But when I did I had a huge smile on my face. I feel the bruises today. Some of them are actual bite marks and other areas it's just extremely tender. I love it.

In-Laws

Today we met up with all of Master's siblings, His dad and His dad's wife. There were 11 of us total. There is my father-in-law, his wife, His brother, His brother's wife and two kids, His three sisters and then of course us. We all met up at a resturant and had dinner together. There was a lot of talking and everyone was having a great time. Well, everyone except my father-in-law's wife.

When Master was 18 He got into a verbal argument with His dad's wife. And she has held it as a grudge this entire time. Master came back in contact with that side of His family about 3 years ago. He had dropped all contact with them for over a decade. He stepped back in and everyone has had open arms.

Well, like I said He had that argument with His dad's wife when He was 18. He is 37 years old now. So basically round it up to 20 years and she still can't stand the sight of Him. She is upset that He is back in the picture and doesn't like it one bit.

Apparently she didn't even know we were going to be there. His dad said "all the kids" and left it at that. Apparently she didn't think that included the eldest of the 5 kids. When she first walked in she was saying something and then she saw Master. She immediately shut up, sat down and didn't say another word the entire time. We were there for two hours and she didn't say a fucking word.

No one let it bother them, including His dad and the two children he has with his wife. Everyone else was having a great time.

Before we all left though His dad wanted a picture taken of everyone. First he wanted a picture of just him and his five children. It's the first picture of the six of them together, ever. Master didn't even know He had two younger sisters. He didn't know because He hadn't been talking to that side of the family. So when He jumped back in about 3 years ago He found out. When the picture was taken His dad's face just lit up. He was so happy to have all five children in the same place, at the same time, and actually have a picture of it.

After that picture was taken myself, my brother-in-law's wife and their two children also joined the picture. It felt good to be included. My father-in-law's wife refused to be in any of the pictures. So you know what my father-in-law did? He made her take the pictures. HA!

We have also been invited down to His brother's house before winter hits so we can all get together again and have a family cookout.

It was a great time and I'm really glad we were able together with everyone.

Worried

Today after I got home from work Master and I went down to visit my father. I hadn't seen him in a month or so and so off we went.

I was a little surprised when I walked in the door and noticed that furniture and other things were all over the place. I didn't say anything, figuring they were rearranging or some shit like that.

But no. Apparently my dad and his girlfriend broke up a couple of weeks ago and she is moving out. Don't get me wrong, I hate that woman. She has never sat well with me and as my dad's back was getting worse she didn't seem to be helping him out at all. That pissed me off but there was no telling Dad. After all he's one of those guys who is stubborn as hell. So whatever there.

The way my dad explained it was that he and his now ex-girlfriend were fighting a lot. I asked why and he said that she would just start bitching up a storm about small shit and wouldn't let it go and wouldn't let my dad have any cool down time.

Well, he's going to be 51 years old in two weeks and he finally had enough and told her that he doesn't need this kind of thing in his life right now. He's trying to get disability since his back is that bad. He can't hold a normal job and his last job told him that they wouldn't/couldn't work within his medical limitations. On top of that he really needs the insurance so that he can get his back surgery done.

My dad has one job right now. He delivers newspapers in the morning. So he's mainly sitting in his car and throwing newspapers out the window. Even after that his back is killing him, but walking and standing is worse.

I'm worried for him. I am. His back is getting worse and getting disability, even with a lawyer, is a long process and of course there is no guarantee. So he'll only be living off what little money he makes doing the paper route. But he lives 45 minutes away. I can't really do much to help. I definitely cannot help out financially even though I would like to here and there. It's just not feasible.

Is Your Medication Working?

Today has been one of those days where I know my medication is working. Why you ask? Well, I'll tell you why.

I'm not going to go into a lot of specifics but my mother called me at work and had some really bad news for me. I cried a little bit but was able to keep my composure. It wasn't even really crying. I was just so pissed off that my eyes were watering and tears would fall down my face. But like I said, I kept my composure. If I didn't have my medication I know I would have been a fucking wreck, spiraling out of control and then some. I wouldn't have stayed at work. I would have flipped out and just left, gone home and shut myself down. That would have been the end of it.

But I was able to calm myself to a point. I was still livid, don't get me wrong. But I was able to still do my job and keep myself together.

About an hour later Master calls me and apparently we got a letter in the mail from our landlord. Our neighbors upstairs, the ones Master got into a heated discussion with a few months back, complained that we are slamming our patio door and allowing our dog to walk around without a leash outside.

I immediately called the landlord. Master has been living here since 2004. I moved up in 2005. We have been here for a long fucking time. She told me that she has never had a complaint on us before. I reassured her that our dog is never off his leash or harness. I also told her that we do not mean to slam the patio door, if we are doing so.

She told me that she only sent the letter because she wanted to make us aware of it. She said she isn't worried about it at all. As long as we're good with the landlord I couldn't care less about what a neighbor has to say, especially when they are lying through their teeth. She actually told me that she thinks that they are complaining to try and get out of their lease or some shit like that.

She told me to either A) Go up there and calmly talk to them and try to resolve this or B) Ignore them completely.

I already know that talking to them is not going to do any good and will just add fuel to the fire. So to me, those neighbors no longer exist. If they say anything, I'm not going to respond. If they give me a look, they aren't there.

That way none of their complaints will ever be true and I don't have to fucking worry about it.

Sometimes I really hate living in apartments. I really do.

But there again was another good example that my medication is working. I was able to calmly talk to my landlord and explain and she was cool about it. I didn't flip out. I didn't get completely off the wall upset. I was mad, yes. But I was able to think logically.

Wednesday Ramblings

Today there isn't much kinky on my mind and nothing on the boards are really striking me for a blog post idea. So I figured I would just ramble a bit.

I had a pounding headache and my ears felt clogged all day at work. On the ride home I started to feel better. Master and I ate dinner and we started to watch a movie. But we noticed that some of our neighbors were starting to gather outside so we turned the movie off and headed on over. It's really nice out tonight and sitting around talking with our neighbors is a great excuse for sitting out there.

So we're sitting around talking about random bullshit. I felt fine when we first sat down. It was probably about 6pm? Some where around there. However, as I continued to sit there my back and shoulders started to hurt. And the pain continued to escalate as I continued to sit there. I was having a good time and everything (except for when the conversations turned to politics) but eventually I just couldn't take it anymore. My shoulders felt like they were on fire when I finally stood up, apologized, and told everyone I had to call it a night. I came in at about 8pm.

Master decided to come inside with me. He said that later He'll work on my back and shoulders for me. I don't know what I would do without Him. He takes care of me in more ways than one.

Another thought passed through my mind while we were sitting outside though. A couple of our neighbors started talking about their grandparents.

Well, my grandfather is not doing well. He hasn't been doing well for a long while now but he keeps going. He can still take care of himself and everything but his heart has taken a beating and it's showing more and more. I try to keep that to the back of my mind but when they started talking about their grandparents it made me realize that my grandfather's birthday is only a couple of weeks away. He's going to be 74 years old. He told me once he just wanted to live longer than his dad did. Well, his dad died at 65. He's got him by almost a decade. He's ready to go though and I know that. Every time one of my family members see him he is quick to tell everyone that he is ready to go see his wife, my grandmother. His mind is willing but his body won't give up the ghost.

These thoughts don't have me depressed or anything, surprisingly. They are just freshly swimming around in my head.

More Training

At some point last week I ordered an anal training kit. Master and I are trying to work on my being able to have anal sex more frequently and, more importantly, enjoy it.

So when I got a gift card I decided why the hell not, I'll just order an anal toy. So I looked around and figured why just one anal toy? Maybe I can find a "kit" of some kind. And sure enough, I found one that I could afford.

It's three toys. They are all smaller but have a wide base, thankfully. I feel really uncomfortable when an anal toy doesn't have a wide base. I don't want it getting "lost", if you know what I mean.

It showed up yesterday. So when I got home I opened it up and they aren't tiny but they aren't all that big either. However, they are different shapes. They are all plugs, just... different angles I guess is that way to put it? I have not idea. It's kind of hard to describe.

I put them in the bedroom for when we decide to use them. I'm hoping to try them out soon. Maybe Master will pick out the one we use first. Normally He has me pick the anal toy, just because we're still working on things back there but I really want Him to this time. I haven't talked to Him about it yet as the thought literally just went through my mind while I was typing.

Part of this whole anal training thing that is annoying to me is not that fact that we are working on it but the fact that I used to be able to have anal sex at least once a month. I never got off from it but I did enjoy it. And if I didn't completely enjoy it as in get incredibly turned on I at least was able to "handle" it.

Master knows this, obviously, but He has never shown any annoyance or irritation regarding that fact. I think He's just glad that I want to be able to have anal sex more frequently and get off from it. He loves anal. I know this and I have apologized to Him in the past for not being able to do it as frequently as I know He would like, at least not yet. You know what His reaction is? "It's okay, it's worth the wait."

How awesome is He? Very. That's how awesome He is. *nods*

It means a lot to me that He is willing to take it slowly and listen to me and my body... even when I don't. His number once concern has always been for my health, whether it's physical or mental. So He is just trying to help me work past this mental block of mine as well as help me get my body to relax.

Even though He is a sadistic son of a bitch (and I say that with love) He doesn't want to hurt me like that. I know it's probably tempting.. *laughs* But He doesn't want to do that.

I am trying not to get frustrated with this whole process. I want to just enjoy what we are doing so that I won't be tense or get a sense of pressure, that I would be putting on myself. He isn't pressuring me at all. Not one tiny bit.

So I'll just take His thought process and run with it. Just enjoy what we are doing and eventually it'll pay off.

Force of Habit

You know how rules can turn into habits? I mean yes, you can still fuck them up (the wallet is a good example) but they just come automatically most of the time.

I just noticed something today that made me think of this.

When I drive the car I have to pull the driver's seat up pretty close to the steering wheel because I'm short as hell. Master on the other hand is a fucking giant and so needs the seat all the way back. So, when I'm done driving the car I put the seat all the way back again. Why? Because normally when we go somewhere Master is the one driving. So my automatic reaction to shutting the car off is to move the seat back so in case He leaves or we go somewhere together it's back for Him.

Admittedly I have fucked this up before by just having a brain fart and Master will go out to the car and have to reach down to put the seat back. There is no way in hell He would be able to sit in the seat and then move it back. Like I said, I'm short and He's a giant. When I do forget He just kind of looks at me and says, "Really?" to which I immediately apologize.

Normally I do remember though.

Well for about the past three weeks or so I've had to take over the carpool for my job. As a result that means I'm driving the car every work day back and forth. I don't know why I just noticed it today but when I park the car at work I am automatically reaching down and pushing the seat all the way back. Then when I get out of work I of course have to put it back to where I can comfortably reach the pedals.

Like I said I've been doing this for three weeks now, five days a week. So why I noticed it today, I have no idea.

But when I got in the car to go home I reached down to put the seat where I need it and it struck me. Why the fuck did I move it back in the first place? It's not like Master is going to walk out to my job (which is a 45 minute drive from our house) to grab the car and go for a drive.

Even though I noticed it, how much you want to bet I do it again tomorrow?

Priceless

Yet another thread I was reading that got my mind going a little.

It was a debate about whether or not a slave is worthless.

A slave is not worthless. I am not worthless. Now I'm not talking about humiliation or saying something like that because it turns someone on or anything like that. I'm talking about someone honestly saying that a slave is worthless.

If I was worthless, why would Master want me? Why would He want a useless piece of property hanging around Him all the time. Some worthless thing always looking to Him for guidance. Some one worthless loving Him and begging for His attention and affection.

If I was worthless He wouldn't love me.

I am not something that can be thrown away or tossed aside. I am His property, yes. But I am valuable. Hell, I'm more than valuable. I am priceless.

There is not another one like me in the world. I am me. I am unique and have quirks and problems. I have a personality that is mine and mine alone. I am literally the only one who can please Him the way that I do. Why? Because another person wouldn't be able to do something exactly the way I do. They wouldn't have my words, they wouldn't have my touch, they wouldn't have my smell. They wouldn't have any of it.

Just as no one else is like my Master. There is only one Him. And there is only one me.

I am of value to Him. If I wasn't, He wouldn't keep me around. What's the point of having property that doesn't mean something to you or of worth to you?

There isn't. If something laying about your house doesn't mean anything to you and is just useless junk collecting dust, you throw it out. It may take you a while because you don't want to bother with it right then and there but you do eventually get it out of your sight.

Something of value, even if you're the only one who finds it valuable is something that you keep. It's something you hold onto. Master's been holding onto me for nine years. And I don't ever see Him letting me go. He loves me and He needs me.

No Fair!

I was reading a thread today and it struck me as a good topic for my blog.

I'm not going to put user names or any bullshit like that but I will give the basic layout...

Okay, so this slave had a curfew. She was going out to a friends house and her curfew was midnight. She went. She wasn't home until well after midnight. Now, her excuse was that her friend lives far from her place and she didn't have a ride home until after she asked someone and they told her they weren't leaving until after midnight and she said fine. She said she made a judgment call. Now, I don't know all the details obviously but she obviously got there just fine and the way she explains is it was "hard" for her to go home and it was "safer" to leave with the person who didn't want to leave until after midnight.

Basically, she thinks her Master overreacted and she didn't deserve to be punished and basically wanted to know if other slaves felt that way. Now, I'll admit I didn't read most of the replies as the original poster didn't respond (I know because I looked). So I just went to the end and commented.

My response was stating that I do not feel punishments are unfair or unjustified. Yes, Master can make a bad decision, but when it comes to punishment He doesn't go off half cocked. He allows me to give Him more details and basically state my case. Once that is done, He either tells me He understands or tells me that I am still going to be punished, this is why and this is what the punishment will be.

Now, in the particular scenario above I already know what would have happened without even having to think about it.

If I was allowed to go out by myself and He gave me a curfew and I did not have a damn good reason as to why I was late coming home, my ass would be grass. By damn good reason I mean like extremely bad weather and I had left early because of it or something along those lines. It would have to be something I had attempted to avoid or something completely out of my hands.

He would say that I knew my friend lived far away and that I should have figured out a way to get home on time prior to going out rather than figuring it out after the fact. He would call it poor planning and there for a willing disobedience.

Sentences

Last night I got four hundred of my required sentences completed. After my blog post I tried to do more but Master told me no because He knew that my hand was cramping and my wrist was throbbing, so we just relaxed and enjoyed the evening until I had to go to bed.

Today I got to work a lot earlier than I expected to as traffic was basically slim to none for whatever reason. So when I got to work I had about twenty-five minutes to kill so I sat down and started doing more of my sentences as I couldn't clock in early. I did more of them on my lunch break as I couldn't clock in early then either. I barely had anything to do. So every once and while I did some more. Before I knew it I was up past eight hundred.

When I got home Master told me that the sentences I did while I was at work did not count. I was supposed to do them at home and if someone at work had seen me doing them it could have caused problems.

I didn't really think of that when I had nothing to do to be perfectly honest with you. So I asked if I had to start over. He told me to throw out the ones I had done at work and that if I ever forgot which back pocket His wallet goes into again I would be doing more than one thousand sentences. He did tell me to keep the ones I had done at home however. So I am.

I wasn't sure what that meant at first, but He told me that since writing like that really bothered my hand/wrist last night He felt it would be best if I just stopped at the four hundred and as He said if I forgot again I would be writing a hell of a lot more of them. I don't see this as Him letting me off the hook, I see it more as He described it, a health concern.

So, why was I able to get more than four hundred done at work? Well, I had my wrist brace on and I was taking a shit load of breaks. It was fifty here or ten there. It just seemed to add up quickly because it was over the course of nine hours.

The Wallet Goes On The Right

Last night I had to run down to the store and I had to grab Master's wallet in order to do so. Sometimes just grabbing His wallet is easier than transferring funds between the accounts. And I don't like just taking His card because I don't want to accidentally grab the wrong one out of my purse because they look identical.

When I got back, Master was already relaxed for the evening so I was told to put His wallet in His pants pocket. So I did.

Today I was at work and it was slow as hell. So when Master sent me a text I was more than happy to respond. We just went back and forth for a little while about absolutely nothing. Then Master says, "Do you remember what I said would happen if you ever put my wallet in the wrong pocket again?"

No, I didn't honestly. I remember it was something bad though. You see, for the longest time when I took Master's wallet I would put it in His left back pocket. I have no idea why, but I did. And it drove Him nuts. So He enforced a rule where if I ever take His wallet I am to make that it goes back into His right back pocket.

Well I guess today when He went to go put His pants on the wallet was in the back left pocket. When He first enforced the rule He told me that if I ever broke it I would be in trouble. I just didn't remember how much trouble because it had been quite some time.

Master reminded me that it would have been lashes with His belt. But since the walls are so thin and we don't need the cops called He decided not to use that. He had also thought about orgasm denial but then that puts the anal training on the back burner as I take anal anything a hell of a lot easier if I get off first.

So instead He told me I would have to write the following sentence one thousand times: "The wallet goes on the right."

Yes, you read that number correctly. It may seem excessive to some people but as He pointed out to me, disobeying a very simple rule like that, even if it's accidental, can show that I'm not taking the rest of my rules seriously, since it is such a simple task.

So after I got home from dropping off the other person in the carpool and picking up the animal food Master and I ate dinner. Almost immediately after we were done eating I picked up the pen and paper. He wants it done by hand. It's not because He thinks I'd be stupid enough to use copy and paste, but because He knows I type like a maniac and He really, really wants this to stick.

I started at about 6:45pm? Somewhere right around there. I had to take a couple of small breaks because my hand was cramping. He told me to stop when I got to four hundred and then to start my nightly routine. I got to four hundred a little after 9pm. So to write "The wallet goes on the right," four hundred times took me a little over two hours. Holy hell. I honestly didn't think it would take that long to not even get half way through it but then I'm thinking in typing, not hand writing.

I haven't had to hand write that much in years. Everything is electronic these days after all. My hand is killing me. It's too bad I'm not ambidextrous because then I could give my right hand a rest and switch to my left.

And Suddenly... Pubic Hair!

It has been a long time since Master has had me have a landing strip. He's had me do it a few times over the years. I think He normally prefers my pussy to be perfectly smooth, however there are times where out of nowhere He'll tell me to start growing out the landing strip again.

In fact, He just did it on... Sunday? Yes, I believe it was Sunday. We were sitting in the living room watching something on the TV. He just slowly looks over at me with a look on His face that He gets when a really good idea hits Him. I look at Him and He just nonchalantly says, "I want you to start growing out your landing strip and you're going to start it today."

He then promptly went back to watching TV. *laughs* The perks of being a Master, right?

So I did. It always drives me bonkers at first. I have to let that area grow in for at least three to four days before I can begin shaving it down to just that small strip of pubic hair. Until that point I shave everything else except a thick patch of pubic hair. After that I slowly but surely shorten that area to where it is just a nice small strip that Master really enjoys. It's a bitch to keep straight.

I don't know how men do it every day with their facial hair. I just don't. I would be fucking it up constantly!

Hopefully by Friday I'll have it where it needs to be and I'll just have to maintain it from there. That is until Master tells me to shave it all off again. Sometimes it's after a month, sometimes it's longer. I think they longest He has ever had me maintain a landing strip was four months. I don't know if He just gets tired of it or what. Then again I don't know why He wants me to grow it back sometimes either. Another perk of being a Master.

I don't have to know why or understand why His mood changed in regards to that, I just have to know that it's what He wants me to do. *nods* Keep it simple and don't over think it.

Ow and Such

I don't know what the hell I did but today my knee has been giving me a lot of problems. It was just kind of stiff when I woke up this morning. No big deal. But as the day went on it just got worse. It doesn't hurt so much as it's a really deep dull ache.

Oh and the fact that it keeps giving out on me. At work today I almost dropped files at least three or four times because out of no where my knee just gave out. That kind of shit pisses me off.

I'm just really glad that it is my left leg. That way I don't have to worry about it fucking with me when I have my foot on the pedal. I remember when Master's knee was bothering Him for at least four months and it just so happened to be His right knee. He could barely drive some days. There were plenty of times where He had to play passenger just because His knee couldn't handle it. It hurt too damn much.

And trust me, that man is not use to playing passenger. He prefers to be the one driving the car. My driving doesn't bother Him at all, He just prefers to drive.

But now that I'm driving 45 minutes one way and then back again every work day that would be a seriously bad situation. It wouldn't really be financially smart to have Master drive me to work, come home, come pick me up and then go home again. Let's take a hour and a half round trip and turn it into three hours. Gas prices are crazy enough without adding all that extra gas into the mix.

Speaking of work, I am still looking for a new job. I really need and want a job closer to home. And if it can't be close to home I want it on a bus route that isn't overly complicated. I've been looking and looking but most of it either closer to home but doesn't pay enough or it pays enough and is further away than my current job. So yeah.

I'm not giving up. I refuse damn it! I will find a job that is closer to home and pays well.

I Wish It Wasn't Sunday

Last night I was up until 4am. That is extremely rare for me. I'm normally asleep by 2am even on the weekends. I hate that honestly. But all day yesterday we felt pent up. It was either hot as hell, humid as a mother fucker or it was raining. As a result no one was outside. We even stayed inside. Part of the problem with that is it didn't even seem like a Saturday. We've gotten too used to just going outside for most of the day/night on the weekends. I already know that when winter hits we'll just be inside different apartments hanging out.

So anyway, we stayed in and after fucking we came back in the living room and about an hour and a half after that I finally went to bed. I guess Master stayed up until almost 5:30am.

Today it wasn't nearly as bad outside. We sat on our porch for a while and then I went and knocked on SL's door and asked if her and her husband were going to be poking their heads out. She seemed happy that I knocked and said she would be right out. So we sat down and had a really good time. We only came back in to eat dinner really quick and before you know it we were back outside.

It was about 9pm when Master decided He wanted to go in. He has already told me that if I want to stay outside after He's come in that I may. But as I said it was about 9pm and I knew that I still had to do my post, do my mood tracker and take my shower. Plus, I wanted a little bit of down time inside, after all that was done, before I had to go to bed.

Master isn't as lenient with my bedtime on a work night as He has been in the past simply due to the fact that I have to drive the car. I totally understand it, honestly. It sucks, and I'm sure He doesn't like it either because He enjoys spending time with me at night... but what are you going to do?

It was sweet when I said I was going inside because SL and AK wanted me to stay outside with them. I told them that if it wasn't a Sunday I would be out there all night and have a great time, but since tomorrow is a work day I had to go in. I gave them both a big hug and they each gave me a kiss on the cheek. I haven't had friends like that in a very long time. I still like my alone time but I really enjoy spending time with them. We haven't gone out and done anything really besides that local fair but we all really like sitting around in the courtyard talking. So that's what we do.

Wrist Tattoos

I know that I am addicted to body modification to a degree. I currently have 12 tattoos and three piercings. I wouldn't mind having my eyebrow pierced again but given my job that just isn't going to happen. Also, Master isn't sure if He wants me to have one again, so it's a moot point either way.

Tattoos though? Yeah.. I got my last one not all that long ago and I told myself I want to get to 13 and then stop and focus on touch ups if/when they are needed. I have a few that do need touch ups. One of them needs it because I received bad advice as far as after care and I had fallen down and scraped the hell out of it. This was my second tattoo and as I said didn't get a lot of good advice at the time. I'm so glad that I know better now.

But to get number 13 I have to a) figure out where to put it and b) decide what the hell it'll be.

I've always played with the idea of a wrist tattoo. Depending on what it is they can look fucking awesome and kind of sexy. But I would have to pick out a damn good design and then figure out how to hide it at work.

My current job doesn't give a fuck if your tattoos are showing as long as they aren't offensive. But who knows what the next job's policy will be. I read a thread today about wrist tattoos and people were saying that a person could just wear a bracelet over it or a watch. And of course there was the whole buying tattoo concealer. Plus there is that whole wearing long sleeves at work idea. That would really suck in the summer and sometimes your sleeve rolls back. A few people stated that no one even really notices theirs.

So there are ways around it. But as I said I would need to figure out what it would be. Master likes the idea of my having a wrist tattoo, as long as it's the right design of course.

I think I'll look into designs and go from there. Plus Master needs a touch up before I'll get anything else done. As I said, I got one not that along ago and with getting that new tattoo I got my very first tattoo touched up. It needed it badly.

Ha Fuckers!

Today I dropped off our rent check. I don't trust the rent to reach them on time if I send it by mail even though they are really close by. So I figure that since they are so close I'll just take the five minute drive and drop it off.

Last night I had typed up a letter regarding the post I did last night about the neighbors and their dogs. I just signed it "concerned neighbors" as it's not just us and one of the neighbors I was writing about is bat shit insane and we didn't want any retaliation basically.

Anyway, when you drop off a rent check you basically walk into their office and place the check in a little plastic sleeve they have so they aren't "bothered". So when I did that I slipped the letter in there as well.

Apparently they got on it right away. Tonight both people took their dogs out back to use the bathroom rather than using their front lawns and when Master walked past to take our dog out the dogs were only out with their owners and weren't near the sidewalk at all.

Rock the fuck on! Hopefully it'll stay that way. I think it will because when someone complains about a pet the landlord basically says that having a pet is a privilege and not a right, so if you don't follow the rules they can tell you that you can no longer have an animal. It straightens people right the fuck out.

That happened one time with our last dog. We didn't know it at the time but our last dog would bark a lot when we weren't home. So we got a letter in the mail asking us to lock our dog up and that if we didn't care of it then we would no longer be allowed to have animal.

As I said we had no idea because well, we weren't home. So we simply starting putting him in the back bedroom when we weren't home and everything was fine.

Like I said though, we'll see how long this lasts. I'm really glad I typed up that letter.

Handle Your Animal

We live in an apartment complex that allows animals. Well, I'm sure that's obvious given the fact that we have an 80lbs dog.

Anyway, there are specific things in our lease regarding the pets. One of them is that if you have a dog you are not allowed to keep them tethered outside unattended.

Master and I will sit on our porch with our dog tethered up. But we never, ever leave him unattended. It isn't that we're afraid that he'll do anything, but it's just we don't know what other people or animals will do. That and it's just responsible as a pet owner to do that.

We have two neighbors that tether their dogs on their porches and just sit in the apartment for hours on end. At first no one saw fit to complain about it but it has gotten worse and worse.

Now the two neighbors that do this have let them shit and piss all over their portion of the lawn. One of the dogs could almost reach the main sidewalk in between the two apartment buildings and would basically charge it if anyone was walking by.

Now today a new neighbor was trying to walk her dog back and one of the dogs literally made it half way out into the sidewalk. The new neighbor stood there, backed up and held her dog up so that nothing could happen. She stood there frozen. Master and I both stood up and walked over there telling the dog that was tethered to back up so she could get through.

The neighbor that owns that dog finally came out to gather his dog up and I told him that he should shorten the lead as she literally made it half way onto the sidewalk.

As we walked back to where we were sitting with our friends we were all pissed. If they keep this shit up the landlord may just decide that some people can't be responsible pet owners that they just won't allow animals anymore. Fuck that.

So one of our friends/neighbors is going to be calling the landlord tomorrow. I will also be typing up a letter and mailing it to the landlord depending on what the landlord says to our friend.

It's oh so much fun. I just don't want to assholes fucking it up for the rest of us.

All In One

I saw another thread this morning that got me thinking. It was about how you are married but owned and operated by another. Now, before I go into my post please keep in mind that this only pertains to me and my thoughts. I am not judging anyone.

I'm not typically a submissive person. As a female, I do not feel the need or desire to submit just any old male, or female for that matter. If anything I only had an interest in kinky sex before I met Master, not so much the submission side of things. But when Master and I started delving into this He showed me that side of myself. However, that side of me only responds to Him. He is the only one who makes me feel that way. Period. End of story.

And maybe that's why I think the way I do on this topic. I couldn't imagine being married to Master and not have any kink part to it and yet have a Domination/submission relationship with someone else.

To me, the package deal is what I need. I need it all from one person. It's all or nothing with me. But again since Master is the only one who makes me feel that way and I love Him so very much and we're married... so yeah. I did get the package deal.

I can't imagine submitting to someone else. In fact I would probably just laugh if someone tried to make me. I've "submitted" to another person in so far as taking a few orders but that was because Master told me to. It was ultimately Him the one controlling me and the other person was just allowed, by Him, to give me some orders.

Other than that... no way, no how. In fact with most people I'm rather blunt and to the point. I do not have a submissive personality in general. Master is the one that brings that side of me out. It's Him. It's always been Him and always will be.