February 20, 2015

Writing & One Year Anniversary

For some reason I got it into my head to start writing a story. It's honestly just something to distract myself for the time being. One day I was typing away and Master asked me what I was doing. I told Him. He commented that I never finish them. And He's right. I have never started writing a story and actually finished it. I just get stuck and forget about it, I get bored with it, or I just move on to something else.

But it's not like I ever plan on getting published. When I was young I always wanted to be a writer. I never knew if I was ever actually good at it but I enjoyed it. I thought it would be really cool to see my name printed on a book. Authored by: (insert my name here). Seeing something like that would be amazing. It will never happen and I accept that. But it is still fun to think about.

Making this blog and writing in it is fun too. At least when I feel like I actually have something to say. I must admit sometimes it is a chore but that is only because I have no idea what to write about. Nothing is going on and I don't have anything new on my mind. *shrugs*

I know I could just write the little story entries I'm making now as blog posts but I know that isn't what this blog is for. Also, I don't really want others to see it. Especially in such a public way where there is really no way to protect it.

That sounds stupid doesn't it? Wanting to protect something that I know will never be finished and therefore will never be published. But it's how I feel about it. Now, if Master told me that I had to I would. After all it would be an order, not a suggestion.

For some reason I just don't want to write an actual story, even if it is only part of it, and for someone to "steal" it from my blog. Who knows what they would do with it. Like I said, it sounds really stupid even to me.

I honestly don't think anyone would actually want to steal it. I don't think I'm worthy of my writing to be published.

However, I enjoy the distraction right now. It gives me something to do when I am bored and don't really feel like doing anything else. It also keeps my anxiety levels down a bit. I'm anxious about how all this family shit is going to end. I'm also anxious about the upcoming interview as I truly want this job and more importantly I need it. It's been a full year as of today that I was "let go" from my last job. I have never been unemployed for this long. Hell, since I started working I've never been unemployed except for when I took a break to go to college for a while. I never would have thought that I would have been without a job for this long. I could see a month or two. At the most four months. But here I am twelve months later and unemployed.

I will fully admit that if I do not get this job I have an interview for on Wednesday I will be upset. Not just a little upset. Very upset. With all of the fresh hell that Master and I have been through in a very short amount of time karma needs to swing the other way. It needs to swing back in our favor and hopefully it will swing in the way of my getting this job.

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